


Tales of Tails

by pipisafoat



Category: In Plain Sight
Genre: Crack, Gen, Shapeshifting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-29
Updated: 2011-05-29
Packaged: 2017-10-19 21:09:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/205242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipisafoat/pseuds/pipisafoat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marshall is sometimes a dog. Every now and then, it's a useful ability, aside from making him the brunt of all Mary's jokes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tales of Tails

**Author's Note:**

  * For [papillongirl](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=papillongirl).



Marshall looked up as the phone on his partner's desk rang again. He thought about ignoring it, but a quick look at the caller ID said that it was the same person - no reason to believe they wouldn't just keep calling. He sighed and picked it up.

"Mary's desk."

There was a short pause. "Who are you?"

"A coworker who got tired of listening to the phone ring," he told the woman on the other end of the line. "Can I help you?"

"No, you damn well can't! Now put my sister on and tell her to stop avoiding my calls."

Marshall sat down. "You're Squish?"

"Brandi."

"I take it that's your real name, but you're also Squish? Or is there a third sister with a very unfortunate name?"

Brandi laughed. "Alright, I'm Squish, but you don't get to call me that. Now put Mary on."

"Can't," he replied, getting comfortable. "She's not here. What's the problem?"

There was another pause. "Do you have a badge and gun? Or at least look intimidating?"

"I ... have a badge and more than one gun. What do you have in mind?"

"That better not be a come-on," Brandi warned. "Just come by Mary's house."

"Why?"

"The neighbor is saying Mom stole her dogs and won't shut up."

Marshall blinked and tried to remember if he'd ever seen or heard of any dogs in Mary's house. "Well, did she?"

"Do you think I would call whatever you are if she had?"

He suppressed a laugh. "Alright, I'm on my way."

He could hear the yelling before he even turned down the radio. "They're MY DOGS. You can't just take my dogs!"

"Can you prove they're yours?" He sighed and got out of the truck, making his way to the back yard to see an elderly woman leaning on a cane and spitting in Jinx's face as she screamed.

"Yes! Just not right now! Give them back!"

"They're mine! Look at how much they love me!" Jinx held both dogs tightly against her chest, one in each arm.

"Do you have their leashes? Food bowls? Water bowls? Do you even know what kind of dogs they are?"

"Yes! I do! They're little fuzzy yappy pretentious dogs!"

The old woman smacked her in the leg with her cane. "They are NOT! They're PAPILLONS."

"Oh, you think just because you know a little something about dog breeds, you deserve to take my dogs from me and--"

Marshall coughed loudly and made sure his badge and gun were both visible. "Hi."

Brandi turned away from the argument she had been avidly watching - and why was she soaked? - to size him up. "I thought you said you looked intimidating," she said, disappointment clear in her voice.

"I said I had a badge and multiple guns," he corrected. "Now. What in the hell is going on here?"

"Oh, this isn't your jurisdiction," Jinx said, waving a hand at him. "Run on back to your office and do whatever it is you and my daughter do all day."

He sighed. "I'm here now. Someone want to tell me what's going on?"

The old woman rounded on him, waving her cane threateningly. "This ... harlot ... stole my poor Pumpkin and Precious!"

"Pumpkin and Precious? I assume you mean these two, ah, Papillons?"

"Oh, and now because you know what breed they are, YOU're going to want to claim ownership, too..." Jinx started, but Marshall glared at her.

"No, I'm more interested in making sure they're with their rightful owner." He turned back to the old woman. "Hi. I'm Marshall. And you are?"

She paused, a small smile lighting up her face. "Edna. Pleased to meet you, Marshall."

"Likewise, Edna. Would you like a seat? I'm sure Brandi would be glad to--"

"Like hell I will!"

"It's fine, young man," Edna said quickly. "I just want my dogs back, and then the three of us can go home in peace."

"They're my dogs!"

"No, they aren't!"

Marshall pinched the bridge of his nose and let them yell for a minute before finally interrupting. "Can either of you prove anything?"

"I shouldn't have to prove anything because these dogs are mine," Jinx argued.

"I had to send their registration back last week because they misspelled some things," Edna explained. "It hasn't come in the mail yet."

"That's just what you'd expect an attempted dog thief to say," Jinx pointed out.

"Alright," he said mildly. "There's really only one option here that I can see."

"You can't take the dogs!"

"I'm not going to take the dogs! And I'm not going to leave them with you until the papers come, either. I'm calling Mary."

Brandi shrugged. "It's just going straight to voicemail. I think she got tired of me calling."

Marshall sighed. "Alright. Everyone turn away for a minute."

"Why?"

"Because I have to take off my clothes or I'll rip them."

They stared at him.

"Okay, fine! Watch me strip!" He paused with his hand on the gun. "Um. Edna? I think you're the most sober person here. Would you mind holding these?"

She took his gun and badge, still staring as he took off everything except boxers.

"I don't suppose I could get you to look away now?" he asked, but they all shook their heads. "Alright, fine."

One second there was a man standing in his underwear on the lawn, the next, it was a dalmatian wearing Marshall's underwear, with his tail poking out the left leg hole somewhat awkwardly. He walked up to Jinx and sniffed the two dogs she was holding before barking quietly at them.

Moments later, the dog walked to the pile of Marshall's clothing, gathered it carefully in his mouth, and walked inside.

"What just happened?" Brandi asked. "Is that common in Albuquerque?"

Edna stared at her. "Yes."

"Really?"

"No."

"Oh." She frowned. "Did you just use sarcasm at me?"

Marshall reappeared before she had to answer, still buttoning his shirt. "Edna? I'll take those back now." He clipped his gun and badge back on his belt. "Jinx, give her the dogs already and let her go home."

"You're a dalmatian," Jinx told him.

"Not usually," he answered. "Give the dogs back."

She released her grip on the papillons, and they jumped down and ran over to Edna. "A dalmatian," she said again, staring at him.

"Yes. Now, I'm going back to work. Please don't steal any more dogs." He turned, walked back to his truck, and drove away.

"A dalmatian," Jinx said to Brandi.

She leaned back in her chair and pulled her sunglasses back down over her eyes. "I think it's kinda hot."


End file.
